Is dating right or wrong for Christian singles looking to get married?

I read an article recently where the author was claiming that sites like Tinder and Bumble had “ruined dating” – cheapening what was once courting, to just a hot or not service and pursuit of pleasure, where looks are given precedence over everything else. I wonder what took him so long to figure that out.

Here at 101FREEChristianDating I was vary wary of even starting a service for Christians – but it was precisely because of sites like Tinder that in 1998/9 I took time to try and ask members all the questions that they felt were really important for a site designed to procure Christian marriages – not hookups.

Despite that – one or two members say the signup process is too long and old-stool – but I reply; God is the same yesterday today and forever and I ask those questions to keep members safe and to put off those who are not looking for a deep Christian relationship – by all means use another site I reply – in love of course 🙂

Back to the title of the article; ‘dating’ means meeting someone right? And you have to meet someone a few times before you marry them don’t you? So my simplistic answer right off the bat would be of course! But dating does not appear in the Bible you say! Yes, but neither does driving a car and we use cars to make getting to work in an ever expanding world don’t we. Well the same is happening for Christians… real ones are fewer and farther between so we’d be wise to make use of technilogy to find out where these Christians are hiding.

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If on the other hand by ‘dating’ you mean perpetually stringing various people along in order to gratify ones-self then of course NO NO NO!

So then what about ‘dating’ versus ‘courtship’ for Christians? And what do the terms ‘dating’ and ‘courtship’ mean anyway? What about courtship?.. is there a difference between the two? Well there is a good deal of controversy surrounding Christian dating and in the the US and other countries it’s been frowned upon by many quarters for a long time. But I guess to make any sense of what dating actually is and should be, the ethical implications of it and if it’s right or wrong in the eyes of God, we need to fist establish exactly what dating is.

Words in themselves change in their meaning over time and what may mean one thing here (in the UK) may mean something different elsewhere. The dictionary definition of dating is as follows: Dating: an engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. One’s companion on such an outing.

Well that on the face of it that seems ok to me!.. so why have the we all got such a negative view of dating if it’s just to “engage socially with another person – often out of romantic interest. One’s companion on such an outing”?

The answer must lie in the fact that to many dating has taken on a completely different meaning and I have no idea where from. The dating mentioned above is exactly what might be described as courting – simply socialising with someone who might later on turn out to be a good match. A sensible person to see if anything romantic develops. The meaning that ‘Dating’ seems to have taken on (especially in books like ‘I kissed dating goodbye’) is one where you systematically try each person for size, socially, spiritually and maybe even physically! But I’m not sure how you take the leap from social engagements to the dating Ive just described. Either way – that seems to be what has happened.

Lets give dating back its original meaning – “to engage socially with another person – often out of romantic interest. One’s companion on such an outing”. That is surely innocent and how most good friendships develop. If dating re-assumes this meaning (it’s original meaning) then dating and courting are virtually the same thing – here’s the dictionary definition of courting.

Courting or Courtship: to try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry; To attempt to gain the favour of by attention or flattery; a salesperson courting a potential customer. Zoology; to behave so as to attract (a mate).

I have to say that the dictionary definition of dating sounds a lot nicer! Either way – lets not try each other for size but develop good friendships out of which romance and possibly love can develop:)

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Christian Dating Articles

Dating Non-Christians – an article that discusses this often controversial topic and it’s rather simple biblical answer.

Christian Matchmaking Sites – an article that approaches the subject of the different types of matchmakers that are available on the Internet.

Christian Relationships – a relationship Q&A article that addresses some of the more common love and romance related issues that singles face.

Christian dating books – a useful list of books designed and written to help single Christians find their soulmate according to God’s best will for them.

Today’s inspirational quote!

“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is: Try to please everybody.”
Herbert Bayard Swope

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